December – 2009

Dear Friend,

There are only a few days left to sign up for coaching at a 50% discount!  If you wish to take advantage of these savings, contact me by the end of 2009!  See the News section below for details. 

As 2009 comes to a close, this Action On Purpose issue focuses on the value of reflection on the past year before we jump into the goals and promise of a new year.  Specific questions for reflection are offered and discussed to encourage you to reflect on the questions most meaningful to you. 

The purpose of this newsletter is to share with you simple and effective tools for personal, spiritual and professional growth.  I have used these tools in my own life, so I know their power as well as their challenges. I have also utilized them in more than thirty years of professional work with others as a life coach, educator and psychotherapist.  I offer them to you to try, adapt, and practice as methods to nurture your own growth.

Please send this issue to any friends who might be interested.  Also, I would welcome your thoughts or comments on this newsletter. Have a great month!

Warmly,

Natalie

Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com

P.S.  Interested in some support in clarifying your purpose or taking action on your purpose?  Contact me for a complimentary coaching call to explore whether coaching could help you reach your goals!  See the Special Discount Offer for readers in the “In the News” section below.

“If standard of living is your major objective,

quality of life almost never improves,

but if quality of life is your number one objective,

your standard of living almost always improves.”

~ Zig Ziglar

Quality Questions: Your Life in Review

The transition from one year into the next brings a time of both celebration and of reflection. Before we look ahead to the hopes and dreams of the coming year, let us reflect on where we have been in the last year – What have we gained? What have we lost? What have we learned?  The economic recession has left few people untouched, and is affecting how we choose to celebrate the holidays.  Fewer people are traveling, gift budgets have been reduced or disappeared, and many of us wonder about our economic security in the months and years ahead.

In choosing questions for reflection at the end of this year, I turn to a remarkable leader in the world of financial planning, George Kinder.  Recognized for his leadership and innovation in the field of financial planning, he is considered by many the father of Life Planning.  Kinder describes life planning as “the human side of financial planning. In Life Planning, we discover a client’s deepest and most profound goals through a process of structured and non-judgmental inquiry.”  Then, he helps clients to pursue their aspirations, deal with obstacles that arise, and develop a concrete financial plan based upon their unique goals.

Earlier this year, I read his first book, The Seven Stages of Money Maturity.  In it, he combines his wisdom as a financial planner and as a Buddhist teacher to stimulate a new vision of our relationship to money.  I was struck by the questions he asked, and the importance of answering these before making plans for our future – financial or otherwise.

Questions to Ponder

To help clients discover the deeper values in their lives, Kinder poses three questions:

1. Imagine you are financially secure, that you have enough money to take care of your needs, now and in the future. How would you live your life? Would you change anything? Let yourself go. Don’t hold back on your dreams. Describe a life that is complete and richly yours.
2. Now imagine that you visit your doctor, who tells you that you have only 5-10 years to live. You won’t ever feel sick, but you will have no notice of the moment of your death. What will you do in the time you have remaining? Will you change your life and how will you do it? (Note that this question does not assume unlimited funds.)
3. Finally, imagine that your doctor shocks you with the news that you only have 24 hours to live. Notice what feelings arise as you confront your very real mortality. Ask yourself: What did you miss? Who did you not get to be? What did you not get to do? What are your regrets?

According to the Get Rich Slowly Blog, Kinder says that answering the first question is easy. There are lots of things we’d do if money were no object. But as the questions progress, there’s a narrowing of focus. They become more difficult to answer, and there are fewer possible responses. Setting our goals for the future is all about answering the third question. What are the important things in our lives that are still left undone, and how can we lift these up as priorities to take action on now.

There is a risk in reflecting on our regrets in life, or in the past year of our lives, that we will fall into despair, guilt, or a sense of hopelessness.  It is important to recognize this risk and to embark on these reflections with a sense of curiosity and information-gathering that will help us better adjust our sights on the future.  An image I find useful in approaching a reflection on the past year is that it is like moving from one place to another.  As we get ready to go, suitcase at the door, it is useful to walk through the rooms we are leaving behind and see if there are any items we have forgotten to take with us.  Most of what is there we have decided to leave behind, but we check for an item overlooked or hidden that we want to retrieve and carry forward.

Other Quality Questions

Another approach to reflection that I typically use each year involves identifying one or two high points, and one or two challenges I experienced during the previous year.  Then I focus my reflection on:

1. What makes these events or experiences stand out for me? 
2. What did they satisfy in me, or challenge in me? 
3. What can I learn about myself from these experiences?

Here is a short list of other questions that may invoke a useful year-end reflection on the quality of your life:

• What am I grateful for?
• What would I do differently if I could turn back time?
• What do I want to celebrate?
• What am I willing/unwilling to change?
• What am I overlooking or forgetting?
• What decision have I been avoiding?
• What have I accomplished?
• What have I wanted to do but haven’t done?
• Where have I shown compassion – for myself and/or others?
• What am I settling for?
• Where am I asleep at the wheel?
• When have I felt most excited or passionate?
• How do my answers influence what I want to do in the next year?
• Is there a next step I can take?

Perhaps one of these questions would be a provocative one to bring up with loved ones at a holiday gathering.

May the process of reflection be fruitful for you, and the holiday season bring many joys your way.  See you in 2010!

 “Quality questions create a quality life.
Successful people ask better questions,
and as a result, they get better answers.”

~ Anthony Robbins

~  Action On Purpose Challenge  ~

1. Choose a question or two to focus upon as you reflect on the past year of your life.  Use or adapt a question from the article, or another question that seems more powerful for you at this time.
2. Set a time for yourself, without distractions, to spend on this reflection.  Keep that appointment.
3. Write down your reflections, or share them out loud with someone you trust.

“Live your questions now, and perhaps even without
knowing it, you will live along some distant day
into your answers.”

~ Rainer Maria Rilke

~  In the News  ~

Action-On-Purpose-Coaching-Special– 50% off coaching fees to new clients signing up before

December 31, 2009!

I am thrilled that more and more folks are joining the community of readers for my newsletter, and in appreciation, I am offering a half-price discount to readers who commit to a coaching contract with me before the end of 2009.  It’s been a tough economic year for so many, so if you’ve been thinking about hiring a coach, and you like what you read in this newsletter,  this is a great time to take the leap!  To take advantage of this offer, contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com and mention the half-price coaching discount!

Next Steps - Want to get going on a plan for the kind of life you want to lead in the future? The 2Young2Retire course can help. A certified facilitator, I offer the course by tele-conference.  If you are interested in more information about the course and updates on the time and starting date, go to http://actiononpurpose.com/2008/04/30/boomers--whats-next-for-you.aspx

Care to Comment? Would you like to share your kind words about Natalie's coaching, facilitating, speaking or writings?  If so, please send them to Testimonials@EldridgeWorks.com.  We gratefully welcome your comments.

At www.EldridgeWorks.com, my virtual professional home, you will find information about coaching and psychotherapy services, as well as more about me.  I would love to hear your comments about the website, or the Action on Purpose newsletter. Contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com.