May - 2010

Dear Friend,

As May begins, New England is bursting with flowering plants and trees (producing lots of pollen…) So many things coming to fruition at once produces a kind of euphoria in me. I’ve noticed folks around me taking action on dormant dreams as the days grow longer. What is it like in your neck of the woods today, and how might it be affecting you?

This month’s topic focuses on identifying our vital values – those ever-present traits and motives living in our deepest roots. As spring brings each plant into a flowering of its essential nature, so too a fresh look into our deepest values can result in a revitalized blooming of meaning in our lives. 

The purpose of this newsletter is to share with you simple and effective tools for personal, spiritual and professional growth.  I have used these tools in my own life, so I know their power as well as their challenges.  I have also utilized them in more than thirty years of professional work with others as a life coach, educator and psychotherapist.  I offer them to you to try, adapt, and practice as methods to nurture your own growth.

Please send this issue to any friends who might be interested.  Also, I would welcome your thoughts or comments on this newsletter.  Have a great month!

Warmly,

Natalie

Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com

P.S.  Interested in some support in clarifying your purpose or taking action on your purpose?  Contact me for a complimentary coaching call to explore whether coaching could help you reach your goals! 

“There is no value in life

except what you choose to place upon it

and no happiness in any place

except what you bring to it yourself.”

~ Henry David Thoreau

Living your values is one of the most powerful tools available to you to help you be the person you want to be, to help you accomplish your goals and dreams, and to help you leave a positive legacy in the world.  Your values create the template by which you measure your integrity and determine what activities are worthwhile to you. What are values? How do you identify the values that are most important to you? Read on for an exploration of these questions.

What Are Values?

Values can be defined as those principles, traits, or qualities that matter to us – that we determine are worthwhile. Values are influenced by everything we experience in life, including parents and family, religious affiliation, cultural context, social movements, education, friendships, peer group, and so on. Though we might agree that qualities such as courage, loyalty, creativity, and generosity are qualities of value, identifying our personal values means determining the relative worth of each to us. What do you value in life?  What is truly most important to you? 

We all live by certain values, though sometimes they are not clear to us. Some of our values may be simply adopted from our environmental or social context, while others may be more deeply rooted and intrinsically motivated. Studies on goal-setting and achievement consistently show that goals emerging from our deepest values are the ones we are most likely to pursue.  So identifying our core values is important work in determining our future success. When we set goals based solely on extrinsic values – ones that are imposed on us or adopted by us out of a sense of obligation or “should” – we are less motivated and driven to achieve success, no matter how lofty the goal.  In fact, such goals can become the source of frustration, disappointment, and loss of confidence.

Identifying Our Values

The first place to look in identifying our values is how we have lived our lives thus far.  What do you value in your life history – what stands out for you as you look back on the path you have traveled?  Likely, certain relationships, experiences, achievements or qualities come to mind that frame the way you recall your past. Often a review of the places where we took the most risks, or stretched ourselves most to pursue a goal, can point to the deepest values we hold. For me, loving family relationships stand out, as do the pursuit of spiritual growth and lifelong development in the craft of assisting others to thrive. Try making a list of those things in your life that are most meaningful to you as you look back, and why they matter to you.  This is one avenue for identifying your values.

While you are looking back in time, consider any dreams or hopes you had as a child or as a young adult. How did you respond to the questions of what you wanted to be when you grew up? How did you visualize yourself in the future?  Who were your heroes and what did you admire about them? What dreams have you realized?  What dreams have lost importance to you?  Are there dreams that “have lost some grandeur coming true” (Joni Mitchell)? Which ones are still alive and, as yet, unfulfilled? 

In my teen and youth years I often imagined becoming a folk singer, modeled after Joan Baez or Pete Seeger, whom I admired deeply. Though I learned to play the guitar and sing any number of folk tunes, the practice fell away as other pursuits filled my time.  There is still a nagging desire in me regarding music and the sharing of stories and values through song. I am aware that this dream is still alive in me and can still be realized in some form in my future.

Tools for Values Clarification & Identifying Values-In-Action

There are many tools available to help us identify and recognize our values – values lists, card sorts, and exercises, for example.  Some of them tap our intellect and belief systems to help us recognize the qualities or causes we are most concerned about. These tools are particularly useful for naming those values we choose to intentionally prioritize at present and in the future. One online example of a list of values that you can sort for yourself can be found at http://www.motivationalinterview.org/library/valuescardsort.pdf

Other tools help us recognize and name the values that have shaped our lives and choices, determining the unique character we have developed to date.  I recommend one tool in the latter category that I have found particularly useful: the VIA Survey of Character Strength.

The Values in Action (VIA) Classification system was originally designed to identify “character strengths and virtues” by exploring positive characteristics that people have demonstrated through their action in the world. Over time it has identified 24 universal character strengths.  The measurement tool developed in this work has undergone significant scientific validation, and is now available online for individuals to use.  It has been translated into 10 languages, and approximately one million individuals worldwide have taken the VIA Survey on Character Strengths to date.   

Most people who take the survey have 3-5 strengths which rise above the others, referred to as their “Signature Strengths”. Research using this survey has demonstrated that respondents are happiest when they are using the character strengths, the intrinsic values, which rise to the top as they take this assessment.  Martin Seligman, one of the leading researchers, explains that there is a difference between talents and these character strengths.  Talents are more innate traits, and though we can choose to develop a talent or not, we have limited room to choose our talents.  A character strength, however, can be developed by anyone who chooses to, with enough persistence, practice and dedication.

Are you curious about what your signature strengths might be?  See the resources for taking the survey in the Action on Purpose Challenge which follows.  A description of each of these 24 strengths can be found in the book Authentic Happiness by Martin Seligman. A more detailed exposition of these strengths is now available in Character Strengths and Virtues: A Handbook and Classification by Christopher Peterson & Martin Seligman. 

Remember, living your values is one of the most powerful tools available to you to help you be the person you want to be, to help you accomplish your goals and dreams, and to help you leave a positive legacy in the world.

~  Action On Purpose Challenge  ~

1.  Take some time to reflect on, identify, and record your deepest values by using at least one of the following: 

• The questions generated in this article to review your past for examples of your deepest values

• Other values identification tools you have access to online or elsewhere  

• The VIA Survey on Character Strengths found at either of these sites:

http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu

http://www.viacharacter.org

2.  Consider how well your current life reflects the values you hold mostdear.

3.  Finally, ponder these questions:

• Are there actions you would like to take to re-align your life to your values?

• Are there particular values, or character strengths, that you want to develop and make more central in your future?

“We must look at our life without

sentimentality, exaggeration, or idealism. 

Does what we are choosing reflect

what we most deeply value?”

~ Jack Kornfield

~  In the News  ~

Next Steps - Want to get going on a plan for the kind of life you want to lead in the future? Contact me for a complimentary coaching call to explore whether coaching could help you reach your goals!  Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com  For a great list of readings and resources, go to http://www.lifeplanningnetwork.org/index.cfm?action=main.resources

Care to Comment?  Have a comment about Natalie's coaching, facilitating, speaking or writings?  If so, please send them to Testimonials@EldridgeWorks.com.  We gratefully welcome your comments.

At www.EldridgeWorks.com, my virtual professional home, you will find information about coaching and psychotherapy services, as well as more about me.  I would love to hear from you about the website, or the Action on Purpose newsletter.  Contact me at Natalie@EldridgeWorks.com.